Dirty Divorce Tactic – False Accusations

There is something that all men need to be aware of during any divorce. It doesn’t matter if you think that everything is going smoothly, or if you are trying to be as civil as possible. There is always the possibility that your soon to be ex-wife will make some false accusation against you to make you look bad. This could include anything from a verbal altercation that she could portray as a threat or to other extremes such as accusations of physical abuse against her or even your children. Again, never underestimate what could happen once your wife is under the influence of a divorce attorney. Especially one that has enough experience to know what kind of dirty tactics will give them the upper hand in the divorce.

You should always look to protect yourself when you are in contact with your wife. Never air your frustrations in a way that she can present it to the judge as hard evidence. This includes everything from text messages, e-mails, letters, blogs, to profiles on social networks, like myspace or facebook. Even in you had a mere lapse in judgment, she can use it to show the world of how much of a terrible husband you were. And I promise you that the judge will get a copy of it before you even have the chance to hit the delete button.

It is also highly suggested that you record every conversation in person that you have with your wife during the divorce process. Remember, you cannot record phone calls (unless you tell them that you are recording it beforehand), but you can record face to face conversations. This will help you to prove your case if she was to make an accusation that you threatened or caused other harm to her. If you can’t record it then make sure that there is another adult present that you trust who can vouch for what really happened. DO NOT rely on your kids for this! Pitting your children against one parent or the other is bad, not to mention that it won’t sit well with the judge. All it takes is one time where you have the evidence to refute any of your wife’s false accusations for the judge to realize what she is up to.

If you carefully plan every meeting that you have with your soon to be ex, then you shouldn’t have to worry about what false accusations are made against you. Just take the necessary precautions, keep your cool, and be the better person. Give her the chance to slip up and your divorce will go that much easier for you.

Update: If you are already in a situation where a false protection order has been filed against you, then you may need expert advice that I can’t provide here.  A good place to start is this website offering information on how to successfully fight a false protection order.


Dirty Divorce Tactic – False Accusations — 5 Comments

  1. I am going through a divorce and need help.
    I met this woman, brought her into my home 4 years ago. Married her 2 years ago. Great in the beginning. From about 6 months ago until 3 months ago she stopped have sex with me. Didn’t come home for hours all the time. When she did, I would be crying like a baby and say, are you cheating on me. She said with a grin, “what if I am, what are you going to do about it”? I loved her so much and no matter what I said or did, I know I was losing her. I tried to kill myself and when I was in the hospital she put a PFA out on me and lied saying I threaten to kill her and I was starking her. I couldn’t go to my house for 3 weeks, not allowed to know where she lives. It is costing me $4,000 for my lawyer that it seem like he is working for her. She sat down with me in Aug. and we made a $33,000 2nd mortgage that she stopped paying. She is lying on the post nop that I agreed to pay her car off and give her $4,000 to get new appliances, when she left half of her appliances here. I am retired and only getting so much a month and I tried to refinace my 17 year old home and combine all the bills and I didn’t get the loan. I am an idiot, but I still love her and miss her. She is ruining me emotionally and financally. I don’t know which way to turn. If I file for bankrupt, I have great credit. This is only a fraction of my story. I could write a book of how living with her for the last 4 years. I don’t know if anyone from this website can help or point me in the right direction. Thanks for reading this!!!

  2. Mike,

    I’m so sorry for you problems. I’m going through something similar. I met my wife 10 years ago, and from day one she has given me nothing buy grief. She has had multiple affairs, ruined me financially, and aborted two of my children. We have been separated on multiple occassions, however the most recent resulted in a physical confrontation between the two of us. I am convinced that the overall quality of women has been in steady decline for decades. You will survive man…So will I…but we have to learn to be hard-asses. Screw them! I won’t let some idiot woman destroy me. Sounds like you were married to a real class act as well. Give her hell Mike!

  3. Divorce and house: Help. I left the home in true fear of my life. My husband removed his unregistered hand guns WITH the police’s help and took them to the home. I was afraid to go back. He made threats and every time I came to the house “invited” to talk he called the police and alleged I attacked him, which the police told me they got him to confess that I did not. I am paying house payment, utilities, etc, and living on someone’s couch for last 8 months. I cannot afford to rent anything because all of my disposable income pays the bills with my name on them. Does anyone have any advice? My legal bills are more than $175,000 and I see no end in sight.

  4. My mom used CYFD and a restraining order to take my teenage daughter, who went willingly. I have a chronic illness and my Dr. thought I wasn’t going to make it a couple years ago so I let my daughter live with another family from my church till I went into remission. I still don’t know what happened and why, but after my 15 year old came home, my mother and her made up a whole bunch of off the wall lies and worked behind closed doors. They talked to a school counselor and my daughter’s minister, making up these allegations.

    For years, my mom tried to take my daughter and I told her while i was ill. I told her “No, I know you you will just dump her into the foster system when you tire of her like you dumped my brother and I as soon as we were 18 but still seniors in high school” and ” I may be very ill but I love her.” I do know my mom started buying my daughter stuff and influencing her. My daughter was almost exclusively hanging out with kids on drugs though I did not allow her to in my care, but good luck keeping a 15 year old off the smoking corner on a open campus high school :(. Long story short the more my mom backed my daughter and undermined my athority by using CYFD, the less my daughter listened to me, and in the end, my daughter even started hitting me and walking out the door when she felt like it.

    All this happening and I’m still fairly ill and CYFD knocking on my door. After 3 call responses from CYFD, I was at a meeting where CYFD was explaining to me the reasons they were going to remove my child. Basically, I was just there to be pressured into giving her up and maybe have some say where she went or face charges. It was not until then that they even told me some about what i was being accused of. But had a clue from their previous interrogations so I showed up with three witnesses and was lucky enough to be vindicated. It really helped that my daughter’s real therapist came directly to our home twice a week and she was at the meeting. (I had already signed my daughter up for an intensive intervention program).

    That wasn’t the end of it though, my mother hired one of the most aggressive, smart attorneys in the area and got my daughter with a restraining order. Thousands of dollars later in attorney fees and hopes for putting my daughter in a really good therapy work ranch kind of thing died, I gave in and signed a deal giving up my parental rights. My father, who lost me and my brother very young to a similar lies told by my mom, was begging me to sign, as were all my friends and my attorney, saying I was too sick and poor to survive a witch hunt or a beating from my daughter.So now I’m not allowed to even send her a christmas card, and except for my father whose side of the family I don’t know, my mother’s side believes I’m a child abuser. My dad says my mom was diagnosed with sociopathic traits, and with her high IQ, she has managed to destroy other lives without repercussion.

    I was glad to see this site. I have a guy friend who is in love with me, in the middle of divorcing his wife, and his story is also a sad one. His wife told me herself, she never loved him but married him because she thought he was hard to anger and would be a good provider. He stayed to raise his kids after she confessed her lack of love. Personally, I’m just starting to advocate for others. I do not believe that simply “he said-she said” cases should be allowed in our justice system. I still believe people should be innocent until proven guilty. Sadly in some states, no real proof is required to lose a child. I apologize for my spelling, I’m dyslexic and need a smartphone with a better spellchecker… lol.

  5. Michael that’s a pretty old post, but if you ever come back and read this, I hope you didn’t take her back. Her accusations are dangerous and so is she. Its really hard, but call your friends, enjoy your hobbies until the emotions pulling on you are more trustworthy and calm. Find someone that deserves you. You are worth it. Remember the sick and over-55 don’t do well in jail. Who knows what this woman could make up next.

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