My ex lives with his fiance’ in her mortgage free home and she provides him with an SUV that she has no payments on. They both work. I was a stay-at-home-mom and was awarded alimony. After not even one year, this ex is petitioning the court to lower his payments to me. I trust he will have to prove expenses, as i pay more in rent, utilities, food, and gas than he does. I am on my own and at 60 years old haven’t found work.

I am in a relationship with a great guy that has gone through nothing short of hell in his divorce. His ex kicked him out of their house while he was on a business trip, hacked into his email and the website he owns and turned it off, then took all the money out of their joint accounts, had a check mailed to her from his Google account (which she can deposit into their joint account and then take it out), reported him to DHS as abusing their middle child, went on state assistance claiming she had no money because he had left her with 3 kids and only $20, all before he was home from business for 5 days.

He got the first DHS claim dropped as unfounded, but when she couldn’t get him on that it got even nastier. She claimed he sexually abused their oldest daughter. Because she had the kids with her all the time and limited when he could see them, she began feeding lies to the children. Next thing he knows, he’s getting another email from DHS saying that there is a no contact order on him (actually not true, only a no contact agreement between DHS and the mom) then he has to be interrogated by police. When nothing is going on, she put a danger order in with the court even though the kids were in no danger because he hadn’t seen them in over a month. Because of all of this, he was forced to pay $5k to get a criminal defense lawyer. He had to then do a psycho-sexual evaluation (being subjected to some disturbing tests). Once he came back as perfectly normal and healthy, DHS closed the case and the DA decided that there wasn’t anything to prosecute so he was finally able to see the kids again. He has to pay his ex $500 in Alimony and $1580 in Child Support. He has to pay all their joint debts, which includes a bankruptcy that she put them in because she wanted to have a big house, and a Mercedes SUV she bought without him knowing. This only leaves him with $800 a month to live on. Luckily I make good money and we live off that together, but it’s amazing the power that women have and how rigged the system is against men.

His ex complains all the time about how little money she gets from him, while she works part time teaching Zumba. My bf and I pay for the kids to have clothes and shoes, but she complains about that all the time too so, my bf doesn’t want to buy them things anymore. He also has over $7k in attorney’s fees to pay back. It’s a system that is definitely in need of an overhaul. Not just divorce laws, but the other systems in place like DHS/CPS who are all too willing to crucify the innocent. Facts are not in their line of business. I mean, if someone is married for 12 years and never has an issue until there is a divorce perhaps there needs to be a little more logic in noticing that the timing is awfully convenient and that perhaps there is more lying than facts being presented to them.

Men, I say to you, if you think that this is going to be ugly… Try your hardest to get a GOOD lawyer. I know that it’s a lot of money to come up with, but if you get a good lawyer and they really know what they are doing and have the experience, you won’t be screwed over as badly as my bf was. He had it so bad with having to pay for the criminal defense lawyer that he couldn’t afford a good family law attorney and trust me when I say that YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR. A new lawyer or inexperienced lawyer is not what you need if your case is difficult or complicated. In the long run, the experience is worth every penny.

Thanks for having a site to help those guys that happened to marry some really sorry excuses of what a woman is. Real women, no matter the hurt, never cause so much pain and suffering to not only their ex’s, but realize that everything she does has an effect on her precious children who will learn that it’s okay to lie, steal, cheat, and manipulate to try to get what you want.

With his youngest girl leaving for school, he also wants to leave the marriage. They have not had ANY marital relations in over 10 years. He didn’t want his girls to grow up without him and she would have done just that given the chance. He wants a life. They tell him not only will she get 1/2 of his 401k, he will have to most likely pay 1/3 of his monthly net BECAUSE SHE IS A LAZY BITCH! There is nothing stopping her from getting a job.

I am a single mom and at times have worked two jobs if needed. My ex helped me get pregnant, so yes he should help with the cost of raising the kids. However, he isn’t and shouldn’t be responsible for me, I am a big girl and can and do take care of myself. As should his soon to be ex-wife.

There is never a guarantee in divorce, but it would be unlikely that your fiance would have to pay alimony after everything is said & done. The sole purpose of alimony (not child support!) is to keep the ex-spouse in a lifestyle, or standard of living, that they have been accustomed to. Obviously, it is very difficult to become “accustomed” to anything after only 3 months.

This is not to say that his soon-to-be ex won’t try or have her divorce attorney argue for it. It is almost standard these days for a women’s divorce attorney to ask for alimony or spousal support… What’s the worse that can happen? The judge could say “No”? As long as your fiance is able to find a competent divorce lawyer of his own, he really shouldn’t have to worry about it. On the other hand, the judge could shock everyone by going against all conventional wisdom. The world of family court is incredibly unpredictable, so it will be smart for your fiance to always “Hope for the Best, but Expect the Worst”.

Also, Don’t forget that marital assets are almost always divided 50/50 in a divorce. So it would be reasonable for your fiance to have to split the assets (income, property, etc) that he accrued during those 3 months of marriage, which means he might not be able to get away without giving his soon-to-be ex-wife something.

Good Luck!

- Chris (Admin)

(Please remember that… I do NOT have a law degree! I am not a divorce attorney! And any information provided here should not be construed as Legal Advice! However, I am very familiar with the whole divorce process. After many years of research and my own experience, I have enough knowledge that may prove useful to any man or woman who is going through a divorce.)

Throughout our time together we both lost a parent, my mother in 07 and his father in 09. When my mother passed, it was sudden and unexpected. He gave little to no support to my family and I. He drank all the time, which was not unusual for him, and stayed away from the home most nights while saying he was at his mothers. Later I found out he was having an affair, which I had suspected but it was easier to be in denial because I was grieving my loss.

When we lost his father I put on my wife face and cared for him and his family. I thought things would get better between us but it never did. In February 2010, I told him I wanted a divorce. He said he wouldn’t give it to me, and if I tried, he would fight me on it taking everything I had because he wanted us to work it out. It’s been 2 years (or just about) with no communication for the last 20 months or so, and I received a text message from him yesterday saying, “It’s been 2yrs and I have filed for divorce and I asked for alimony. Expect the papers in the mail.”

I am now in a healthy relationship and very much in love. I never filed the paperwork myself because I was afraid. I’m 34 and regret not having enough sense to have looked into this before now. I have read many of the blogs here and see California has a no fault law or clause… I feel stuck. We have no property, children, or anything. Will I have to pay him and if so will it be to the time the paperwork was filed or when he left? I have pension retirements w/401k and 457. Someone please share with me…All in All I’m still Happier Than I’ve Ever Been!